I am a retired art teacher

This is what Day 5 of retired life looks like. I am sitting in the den going through bags of stuff I brought home from Ranney. Some of the toiletries have been in my desk at school for 15 years. Do you think the Aleeve is still potent or the bandaids still stick? I am breezing through papers, cards and notes written by students, teachers and parents. Some of the letters make me smile, and almost all of them bring tears over memories that touch me deeply. I am anxious and uncertain of my future, leaving a job I was really proud of having. I had no business being a teacher without an education degree, but I think it was good to be an artist first. The kids got that and respected me for that, right from the start. They happily embarked on a long journey with me as we learned how to explore and create art together. What I could paint or draw, they learned how to paint or draw. My passion for children's book illustration, art history, technology in the arts, and applying paint on a blank canvas was never questioned.

Next to me on the computer desk, is a bear dressed up as an artist. This bear was made for me during my first year at school as a thank you for painting the scenery for the Lower School musical. I must have made an impression on the staff for the principal's secretary to create something so special. And after they saw the work I was doing with the kids, they asked maintenance to hang another bulletin board in the hallway, just so I had another place to display artwork. Everyone gave me the freedom to figure out how to teach and what to teach and they rewarded me with awards for teaching excellence. As I left Ranney School, I was proud to say I was an art teacher. I said goodbye to close friends in the faculty and the most adorable young artists who loved art class.

Six days ago, I lost my identity as an art teacher. It was my choice to stop and even as I know I was ready and it was the right decision for me, it still hurts. What will life look like now?